Thursday 11th August

Finished the big clean up campaign that I have bee waging, largely because Carmen is coming to babysit for us tonight and female pride dictates that the house should be spotless.
Went to Hop's football club 'do', which was in Hoppers bar in Puerto Colon. Lots of people there, not all for the football. Randomly a wake was being held there at the same time. Apparently everything that could have gone wrong with this funeral already had, and the arrival of a rowdy bunch of footballers was the icing on the cake. Here is the list....
1. The hearse was involved in a collision on the way down from Santa Cruz, and the coffin fell out. (I kid ye not)
2. The mechanisam which is supposed to make the coffin effortlessly glide out of sight in the chapel jammed.
3. The coffin was 'open' when it had been requested that it was 'closed'
4. The coffin was too wide to fit into the little chamber they make for the graves here, and had to be brutally manhandled in. (i.e forcibly shoved)
5. At this point the deceased woman's husband decided that he wanted his wife's wedding ring, which was ultimately not possible because it was inside the coffin which was firmly wedged inside its little chamber.
This is a bonafide case of truth being stranger than fiction...and if that wasn't enough equally strange was the fact that little Ruby from Eastenders , who must have been on holiday with her mates was also present in the bar, bopping about to the cheesy disco inside. How strange!